Margo Sorci's Survival Page
Hi,
Make sure you check out the photos by clicking on photo word link at the top lefthand corner of this page. And please sign the guestbook by clicking on the guestbook word link at the top left hand corner of this page. Also check out my homepage by clicking the links word link at the top left hand corner of this page and then Moms Marvelous Home Page. You can make an on-line donation from the home page. Thanx
My name is Margo Sorci and as most of you know I could have hit the lottery with an 1 in 8 odds, and would have had a pretty good chance of winning, instead those were my odds of getting breast cancer and my number came up. This past year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and after going through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, I am now a survivor and considered one of the lucky ones. I wanted to give back to the community the support that they have given me as I went through this ordeal.
I registered for the 3 day, 60 mile walk from San Jose to San Francisco, to raise money for Breast Cancer Research. This walk takes place July 12 -14, 2002. This is going to be a spiritual healing experience for me as I have gone through hell this year. Avon requires you to raise $1900 each or they won't let you walk. I have raised my $1900 already and I even registered my daughter and she is almost at $1900. The problem I have is that my mother wants to walk with my daughter and I. She has been there for me since day one and we have to do this together. I have done so much to raise the $3800 for my daughter and I and I am exhausted. They won't let my mom walk for someone else who has raised the money but for some reason can't do the walk. They rarely get 3 generations walking in this event because alot of women don't survive this disease. Can you please help me raise $1900. Together we can save a life.
My mom’s name is Roselle Schwartz and her walker number is 6649 for the Avon Breast Cancer walk San Francisco walk. Donations can be made on line by clicking on link at the left of this page. Then click on donation homepage. We are walking the Avon breast cancer 3-day for San Francisco.
Thank You very much,
Margo Sorci
Check out my homepage and by clicking links on the left of this page. Then click on homepage.
They are worth seeing. Thanx
This is a letter my 17 year old daughter wrote the day she found out I had breast cancer. It is long but it is worth reading. It will make you cry. She wrote the poem at the end of the first letter. I am so proud of her.
________________________________________
Brain Scare
A moment in time…
A prayer of forgiveness Summer 2001: “Dear my people, I ask everyone to please forgive me for ever being a bitch to you. For ever not acknowledging you when I walk by. Or for saying a little too much when my words were never asked for. I only ask for your strength to inherit. I am so sorry, so, so sorry.”
A moment in time…
This past summer I have had to grow up a lot, not only for my own good judgment and myself, but also for my mother and her emotional state. I have always tried my best to be the adult, that I hope one day I will mature to become. Until recently, I have felt so in control of my life and usually the state of others’ lives around me; but about three months ago my mother informed the family that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and at that moment in time, my whole world cracked and started to slowly crumble.
I remember it was a still, sunny Wednesday. I came home with my best friend from a wonderful day. Classes at West Valley went great and I had wonderful news about a cable access show I hope to get off the ground. I got a short ride home with a good friend. When I went through the door my mom came out. She was waiting for me. She looked as though she had just woken up. Now that I look back I could see the worry in her face, but I was blindly self-concerned at the time.
“What’s up?”
“Um…well…We’ll talk about it later.”
“Okay.”
I felt my stomach gut, because “we’ll talk about it later,” usually means that I am in trouble. I put my backpack and my best friend down in my room and hurried to try and pry it out of her.
“ So what’s happening?”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
Those words chained me down and made me question.
“Well…I think I am going somewhere.”
She led me into her room, walking very swiftly and grabbing a tissue on the way. While walking through the hallway my head felt hot and uneasy, almost a dizzy sensation. I was totally unprepared for anything, right then. I felt so bare and unarmed, like a deer caught in a headlight. She sat down on her bed and her eyes reddened with bad news. I almost started to cry. It pained me to see my mother feel so bad.
“They found cancer...”
“Oh.”
A moment in time…
My heart dropped and sat heavy upon my stomach. I was stunned; I just didn’t know what to do or say. Those words, I never thought would enter my life. Although she may have tried to say it softly, the words punctured hard into my soul and I felt the warm blood spread throughout my body and make me dizzy inside. I was paralyzed and the whole room seemed to dim slightly, as if to signify death. Was it my death? Was it my mother’s death?
“It is very minimal, but they did find something.”
I tried to be strong and just look as though it was normal conversation. But I felt like crawling into her arms and crying like a baby. I felt like she would not be here, and I would be all alone without my mommy. I had heard the deep droning beat of my heart trying to remind me to breath.
“It’s like nothing…almost nothing.”
She tried to convince me of ease while secretly trying to convince herself. I could tell by the unbalanced shakiness in her parched throat, and her head bowing as in eternal rest.
- “The cancer they found in my tumor is only in the first stage. I mean that is practically nothing.”
“Oh…”
I couldn’t think of anything to say, how utterly stupid “Oh…” that’s all this woman needs in her life now. Everything from then and on was fuzzy and began to move in slow motion. I imagined my mother old, my mother lying in her grave, her skeletal, dark eyes sunken in and her skin cracked and washed pale and grey, with no hair. My body felt uptight and tense, yet tired and worn out.
“You know most women survive this, and most of those women are in the last stages and have aggressive cancer.”
But I thought to myself, most women don’t get cancer. I just wanted to know why her. I mean my mother. I mean my mother to me, is the most wonderful woman I know; she is my hero and my idol. She always stops her life and goes out of her way to help others in need. She always thinks of the feelings of others and how certain issues affect their lives. Why her? I started to grow so angered at life and at all that I had ever believed in. My mother taught me all that I believe in, and now it is practically mind torturing her. The beautiful, white-winged faith she had taught me had been shot out of the sky that we share in our worlds…together.
“Mine is non-aggressive.”
I felt a little better, but I forced myself to think: If the cancer is so non-aggressive and slow growing, then how come the tumor was not even there just a month ago. My head ached from pain, anger, and total angst because I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t take away her pain. A moment in time…I felt my fingers begin to tingle and numb and the anticipation of nervousness and anxiety was taking over my body. I realized my throat’s pain from breathing so hard, as if buried six feet under.
“I most likely do not have it anymore. They have one more test to
run, so I may have to go in for surgery to get a lymphnode removed to see if I have anymore cancer.”
She started to sound like a doctor. It made me, and I am sure my mother, more at ease knowing that the doctors were so hopeful. They wouldn’t lie, would they? I didn’t want to talk anymore; I just wanted to loath spontaneously in my hysterical outbursts for a few days, weeks, years, whatever. Everything was falling down…or was it coming together? Contradictions turned themselves around and made sense now.
“If that is a possibility, than there are many roads we can take. Radiation, which kills all the cancer cells in that one region.”
This news did not sound too bad, of what little knowledge I had of it.
“Or Chemotherapy…”
A moment in time…
That word just sent pins and needles all up and down my arms and my stomach totally flopped over. I couldn’t believe it. In my mind I took a double, triple, even quadruple take, but she still said the same thing. I see all these movies of sick people getting Chemotherapy. In one sentence, they look so dead in their lives. She could not be one of them; she just couldn’t. I started to cry trying so damn hard to hold back tear-by-tear. My mother started to cry also. I had so many questions running through my head and I was so angry, but I let it all go and gave my mother a big hug. We just held each other for a while, as if it was our last time. Feeling our heartbeats trying to get out and share to help ease the pain.
That day seems like just one huge moment in time, when time stopped. I cried for days after that. The word cancer never meant anything to me before, it was just an inconvenience in my vocabulary. Now when I hear the word Cancer, my whole body numbs and flinches with pain for a moment in time.
I never knew what it meant, it’s not just a disease, it is pain, it is anger, it is frustration, and it is a loved one taken over.
My mother is my hero, she is not famous or popular, but she is the strongest woman I have every known. Getting through that day was especially hard, time stopped and it was
a moment in time…
I am trying very hard now to better myself as a person, to ease the pain, and to keep strong from this life changing experience. So, once, again, I am sorry, my people.
Margo Bethyl Sorci, born August 1st 1958, beloved mother and wife, cancer diagnosed in July 2001, still keeping the faith through Chemotherapy.
May all your pain be eased in a moment of time.
The heavenly voices are singing, around me,
As in a movie, a movie of life, a superficial life.
I hope to fly off these wheels,
When the horizon of the hill meets the sky.
At that exact point we will all be freed,
Freed of our souls, of our minds lies, or our own foolish games.
We will all be introduced to a piece of heaven, truth.
But not have to pass on to the next life to realize it.
We will all see the forbidden colors of the true hearts content,
And taste the sweet odors of the fresh air rushing towards us
…as we fly.
We will smell the hearty earth of the perfect natural world.
And hear the heavenly tunes, but also tunes of a new beginning.
We will feel a total rush, a total high, a total ecstasy,
And yet a total calmness, a total stillness
…a moment in time.
________________________________________
She also wrote this one:
Renewing Myself by Starrlette
Journal Entry Summer 2001: Dear my people, I ask everyone to please forgive me for ever being a ***** to you. For ever not acknowledging you when I walk by. Or for saying a little too much when my words were never asked for . No matter how shallow it sounds it doesn’t make me feel better to just say it but I need your responses and forgiveness.
Check-up
Anxiety of results
News received
Crying
Enlighten life
Restore self energy
*Steps to Cancer*
Cancer…scary huh? Well for me, I get butterflies in my tummy and my heart drops every time I hear that word. I see a picture of my mother, crying.
This past summer, I have had to grow up a lot, emotionally. I usually feel so in control of my life, but recently found out that life can be so scary and unbearable sometimes. When my mother told me she had breast cancer, that was maybe the second time in my life I had ever seen her cry. She is such a strong woman that her crying scared me so much. I wanted to take the pain right out of her, but I had been plagued with the numbness of pain myself and my heart just dropped.
I had never felt so childish in my life, I just wanted to crawl up in her arms and have her tell me “Everything is going to be okay.” But I knew it wasn’t. Statistics never meant anything to me, statistics were just numbers and surveys of the average. Coincidentally all through summer I was relying on statistics to comfort me.
I had also never felt more insecure about myself, as a person. I always thought I could have been a better daughter or better to my friends or just random people. I try not to regret anything, but I have learned that life can end or the most outlandish things could happen at anytime. I mean, nothing has ever happened to my mother before, she has always been one of those lucky people. She had just lost fifty pounds, in fact that’s what the doctor said saved her life.
She says the most painful part was not when she found out she had cancer, we could deal with that, but it was the waiting. The antagonizing moments of our precious lives spent picking at our brains.
My mother created a movement for herself and for others, she encouraged many people to get checked for breast cancer often and to lose weight. My mother is in a support group now, showing people how to keep faith. She is still doing great today, physically, emotionally, and mentally going through chemotherapy. I am so proud of my mother’s strength and her shamelessness. The real hero’s in my life are right here in my household. I, as well as others who are affected by this event are working day by day to improve ourselves.
One more very important thing: I told my friends about my mother shortly after I found out and they just held me. I couldn’t have asked for anything more from my friends. Thank you guys, I love you so much. (Great, now I am crying!)
Mommy’s advice: “Life is short, but it’s not that short to give up on the future.” She also said “With a body like this you don’t need hair!”
Make sure you check out the photos by clicking on photo word link at the top lefthand corner of this page. And please sign the guestbook by clicking on the guestbook word link at the top left hand corner of this page. Also check out my homepage by clicking the links word link at the top left hand corner of this page and then Moms Marvelous Home Page. You can make an on-line donation from the home page. Thanx
My name is Margo Sorci and as most of you know I could have hit the lottery with an 1 in 8 odds, and would have had a pretty good chance of winning, instead those were my odds of getting breast cancer and my number came up. This past year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and after going through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, I am now a survivor and considered one of the lucky ones. I wanted to give back to the community the support that they have given me as I went through this ordeal.
I registered for the 3 day, 60 mile walk from San Jose to San Francisco, to raise money for Breast Cancer Research. This walk takes place July 12 -14, 2002. This is going to be a spiritual healing experience for me as I have gone through hell this year. Avon requires you to raise $1900 each or they won't let you walk. I have raised my $1900 already and I even registered my daughter and she is almost at $1900. The problem I have is that my mother wants to walk with my daughter and I. She has been there for me since day one and we have to do this together. I have done so much to raise the $3800 for my daughter and I and I am exhausted. They won't let my mom walk for someone else who has raised the money but for some reason can't do the walk. They rarely get 3 generations walking in this event because alot of women don't survive this disease. Can you please help me raise $1900. Together we can save a life.
My mom’s name is Roselle Schwartz and her walker number is 6649 for the Avon Breast Cancer walk San Francisco walk. Donations can be made on line by clicking on link at the left of this page. Then click on donation homepage. We are walking the Avon breast cancer 3-day for San Francisco.
Thank You very much,
Margo Sorci
Check out my homepage and by clicking links on the left of this page. Then click on homepage.
They are worth seeing. Thanx
This is a letter my 17 year old daughter wrote the day she found out I had breast cancer. It is long but it is worth reading. It will make you cry. She wrote the poem at the end of the first letter. I am so proud of her.
________________________________________
Brain Scare
A moment in time…
A prayer of forgiveness Summer 2001: “Dear my people, I ask everyone to please forgive me for ever being a bitch to you. For ever not acknowledging you when I walk by. Or for saying a little too much when my words were never asked for. I only ask for your strength to inherit. I am so sorry, so, so sorry.”
A moment in time…
This past summer I have had to grow up a lot, not only for my own good judgment and myself, but also for my mother and her emotional state. I have always tried my best to be the adult, that I hope one day I will mature to become. Until recently, I have felt so in control of my life and usually the state of others’ lives around me; but about three months ago my mother informed the family that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and at that moment in time, my whole world cracked and started to slowly crumble.
I remember it was a still, sunny Wednesday. I came home with my best friend from a wonderful day. Classes at West Valley went great and I had wonderful news about a cable access show I hope to get off the ground. I got a short ride home with a good friend. When I went through the door my mom came out. She was waiting for me. She looked as though she had just woken up. Now that I look back I could see the worry in her face, but I was blindly self-concerned at the time.
“What’s up?”
“Um…well…We’ll talk about it later.”
“Okay.”
I felt my stomach gut, because “we’ll talk about it later,” usually means that I am in trouble. I put my backpack and my best friend down in my room and hurried to try and pry it out of her.
“ So what’s happening?”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
Those words chained me down and made me question.
“Well…I think I am going somewhere.”
She led me into her room, walking very swiftly and grabbing a tissue on the way. While walking through the hallway my head felt hot and uneasy, almost a dizzy sensation. I was totally unprepared for anything, right then. I felt so bare and unarmed, like a deer caught in a headlight. She sat down on her bed and her eyes reddened with bad news. I almost started to cry. It pained me to see my mother feel so bad.
“They found cancer...”
“Oh.”
A moment in time…
My heart dropped and sat heavy upon my stomach. I was stunned; I just didn’t know what to do or say. Those words, I never thought would enter my life. Although she may have tried to say it softly, the words punctured hard into my soul and I felt the warm blood spread throughout my body and make me dizzy inside. I was paralyzed and the whole room seemed to dim slightly, as if to signify death. Was it my death? Was it my mother’s death?
“It is very minimal, but they did find something.”
I tried to be strong and just look as though it was normal conversation. But I felt like crawling into her arms and crying like a baby. I felt like she would not be here, and I would be all alone without my mommy. I had heard the deep droning beat of my heart trying to remind me to breath.
“It’s like nothing…almost nothing.”
She tried to convince me of ease while secretly trying to convince herself. I could tell by the unbalanced shakiness in her parched throat, and her head bowing as in eternal rest.
- “The cancer they found in my tumor is only in the first stage. I mean that is practically nothing.”
“Oh…”
I couldn’t think of anything to say, how utterly stupid “Oh…” that’s all this woman needs in her life now. Everything from then and on was fuzzy and began to move in slow motion. I imagined my mother old, my mother lying in her grave, her skeletal, dark eyes sunken in and her skin cracked and washed pale and grey, with no hair. My body felt uptight and tense, yet tired and worn out.
“You know most women survive this, and most of those women are in the last stages and have aggressive cancer.”
But I thought to myself, most women don’t get cancer. I just wanted to know why her. I mean my mother. I mean my mother to me, is the most wonderful woman I know; she is my hero and my idol. She always stops her life and goes out of her way to help others in need. She always thinks of the feelings of others and how certain issues affect their lives. Why her? I started to grow so angered at life and at all that I had ever believed in. My mother taught me all that I believe in, and now it is practically mind torturing her. The beautiful, white-winged faith she had taught me had been shot out of the sky that we share in our worlds…together.
“Mine is non-aggressive.”
I felt a little better, but I forced myself to think: If the cancer is so non-aggressive and slow growing, then how come the tumor was not even there just a month ago. My head ached from pain, anger, and total angst because I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t take away her pain. A moment in time…I felt my fingers begin to tingle and numb and the anticipation of nervousness and anxiety was taking over my body. I realized my throat’s pain from breathing so hard, as if buried six feet under.
“I most likely do not have it anymore. They have one more test to
run, so I may have to go in for surgery to get a lymphnode removed to see if I have anymore cancer.”
She started to sound like a doctor. It made me, and I am sure my mother, more at ease knowing that the doctors were so hopeful. They wouldn’t lie, would they? I didn’t want to talk anymore; I just wanted to loath spontaneously in my hysterical outbursts for a few days, weeks, years, whatever. Everything was falling down…or was it coming together? Contradictions turned themselves around and made sense now.
“If that is a possibility, than there are many roads we can take. Radiation, which kills all the cancer cells in that one region.”
This news did not sound too bad, of what little knowledge I had of it.
“Or Chemotherapy…”
A moment in time…
That word just sent pins and needles all up and down my arms and my stomach totally flopped over. I couldn’t believe it. In my mind I took a double, triple, even quadruple take, but she still said the same thing. I see all these movies of sick people getting Chemotherapy. In one sentence, they look so dead in their lives. She could not be one of them; she just couldn’t. I started to cry trying so damn hard to hold back tear-by-tear. My mother started to cry also. I had so many questions running through my head and I was so angry, but I let it all go and gave my mother a big hug. We just held each other for a while, as if it was our last time. Feeling our heartbeats trying to get out and share to help ease the pain.
That day seems like just one huge moment in time, when time stopped. I cried for days after that. The word cancer never meant anything to me before, it was just an inconvenience in my vocabulary. Now when I hear the word Cancer, my whole body numbs and flinches with pain for a moment in time.
I never knew what it meant, it’s not just a disease, it is pain, it is anger, it is frustration, and it is a loved one taken over.
My mother is my hero, she is not famous or popular, but she is the strongest woman I have every known. Getting through that day was especially hard, time stopped and it was
a moment in time…
I am trying very hard now to better myself as a person, to ease the pain, and to keep strong from this life changing experience. So, once, again, I am sorry, my people.
Margo Bethyl Sorci, born August 1st 1958, beloved mother and wife, cancer diagnosed in July 2001, still keeping the faith through Chemotherapy.
May all your pain be eased in a moment of time.
The heavenly voices are singing, around me,
As in a movie, a movie of life, a superficial life.
I hope to fly off these wheels,
When the horizon of the hill meets the sky.
At that exact point we will all be freed,
Freed of our souls, of our minds lies, or our own foolish games.
We will all be introduced to a piece of heaven, truth.
But not have to pass on to the next life to realize it.
We will all see the forbidden colors of the true hearts content,
And taste the sweet odors of the fresh air rushing towards us
…as we fly.
We will smell the hearty earth of the perfect natural world.
And hear the heavenly tunes, but also tunes of a new beginning.
We will feel a total rush, a total high, a total ecstasy,
And yet a total calmness, a total stillness
…a moment in time.
________________________________________
She also wrote this one:
Renewing Myself by Starrlette
Journal Entry Summer 2001: Dear my people, I ask everyone to please forgive me for ever being a ***** to you. For ever not acknowledging you when I walk by. Or for saying a little too much when my words were never asked for . No matter how shallow it sounds it doesn’t make me feel better to just say it but I need your responses and forgiveness.
Check-up
Anxiety of results
News received
Crying
Enlighten life
Restore self energy
*Steps to Cancer*
Cancer…scary huh? Well for me, I get butterflies in my tummy and my heart drops every time I hear that word. I see a picture of my mother, crying.
This past summer, I have had to grow up a lot, emotionally. I usually feel so in control of my life, but recently found out that life can be so scary and unbearable sometimes. When my mother told me she had breast cancer, that was maybe the second time in my life I had ever seen her cry. She is such a strong woman that her crying scared me so much. I wanted to take the pain right out of her, but I had been plagued with the numbness of pain myself and my heart just dropped.
I had never felt so childish in my life, I just wanted to crawl up in her arms and have her tell me “Everything is going to be okay.” But I knew it wasn’t. Statistics never meant anything to me, statistics were just numbers and surveys of the average. Coincidentally all through summer I was relying on statistics to comfort me.
I had also never felt more insecure about myself, as a person. I always thought I could have been a better daughter or better to my friends or just random people. I try not to regret anything, but I have learned that life can end or the most outlandish things could happen at anytime. I mean, nothing has ever happened to my mother before, she has always been one of those lucky people. She had just lost fifty pounds, in fact that’s what the doctor said saved her life.
She says the most painful part was not when she found out she had cancer, we could deal with that, but it was the waiting. The antagonizing moments of our precious lives spent picking at our brains.
My mother created a movement for herself and for others, she encouraged many people to get checked for breast cancer often and to lose weight. My mother is in a support group now, showing people how to keep faith. She is still doing great today, physically, emotionally, and mentally going through chemotherapy. I am so proud of my mother’s strength and her shamelessness. The real hero’s in my life are right here in my household. I, as well as others who are affected by this event are working day by day to improve ourselves.
One more very important thing: I told my friends about my mother shortly after I found out and they just held me. I couldn’t have asked for anything more from my friends. Thank you guys, I love you so much. (Great, now I am crying!)
Mommy’s advice: “Life is short, but it’s not that short to give up on the future.” She also said “With a body like this you don’t need hair!”